The Perfect Travel Shoe

At some point the airlines will get smart and start paying me NOT to fly. I don’t know when my last uneventful flight was! Last Saturday morning I arrived at the Albany airport ready for a quick flight to Chicago and then to Springfield, Missouri.  However, my flights are never that easy! After flying over Michigan for quite awhile, waiting for the Chicago thunderstorms to leave, we eventually landed in Grand Rapids for fuel. Due to the new passenger protection laws, we deplaned after sitting over an hour on the tarmac. Unfortunately, the storm left Chicago and headed straight for Grand Rapids where we sat!

Inside the airport, we all bought lunch and waited. As expected, when we finally landed in Chicago, we met a chaotic mass of people who had missed flights. Thankfully, there was a later flight to Springfield that I could get on, so I walked all the way to a different terminal and through the underground passage to the right concourse. Two hours later the gate was changed, and I tromped back through the tunnel to a different concourse. Late that night, as I took off my shoes and propped up my swollen feet on the hotel bed, I decided I was in the wrong line of work. I need to invent the perfect travel shoes.

First, these must be slip-on because, in order to go through airport security, you must take off your shoes and send them through the x-ray conveyer. So, you might say, how about flip-flops? No good. Because of the necessary shoeless walk through the metal-detector arch (while your shoes get a ride on the conveyer belt), you will want to wear socks. Thus, these travel shoes must be stylish with socks, yet easy-on, easy-off.

They also must be breathable. It gets hot sitting in an airport or on an airplane, so a mesh-type material would be great. However, they also must be waterproof because of the probable walk, through the rain and puddles, from the airplane to the terminal and vice versa (Chicago did not have jet-ways, we actually walked outside to the plane!). They should be compact because, honestly, it does get hot sitting on the plane. Sliding off your shoes (remember they are slip-on) is a solution. However, there is not that much room for your socked feet, empty shoes and under-the-seat carry-on. Therefore, shoes that fold up and stash away would be ideal.

However, they can’t be too compact and foldable because they must be as soft and comfy as a large down pillow. Hours of sitting and walking from terminal to terminal mean tired, swollen feet. A soft, comfortable sole and sewn-in battery-operated massage machine is a necessity!

As we know, airlines are now charging extra for each checked bag, and some are even charging for carry-ons. Therefore, you want to pack compactly. Since shoes take up quite a bit of room, one shoe to cover all destinations is needed. It should be strong enough to hike in, and yet professional for a meeting. And what about that more formal dinner you might go to for a special birthday or anniversary celebration? One shoe for all!

And so, I’ll work on this perfect travel shoe. Chances are, I’ll finish it just about the time when I get my first check from the airline begging me not to travel anymore!