You can read about the scariest moment in my life at http://christiandevotions.us/2012/05/19/join-the-party-tami-thurber/.

Yesterday morning I spent time with Trish (she told me I could write about her, and she wanted me to even use her name). For those of you who don’t know Trish’s situation, she is mourning the death of her beloved dog. For some people the loss of their pet may not cause even a crack in life’s surface. But for Trish and her husband, who rescue dogs, adopt them into their lives, and love and care for them as any parent loves and cares for their children, this death shattered their well-being. We began talking about how with each tremendous loss in our lives, a piece of our heart gets torn out. Most of us can relate because we have had our heart ripped apart by sorrow.

The feeling of loss comes in waves as we encounter activities, people, or items that remind us of our grief. Questions arise: “How could God let this happen?” and “Why is life so unfair?” Many of us have probably been stretched to the limit, wondering how much more we can take. “When will this end?”

I think it is natural to question God’s love during these times. In fact, to me it shows that your faith is so integrated in your life that you are not keeping your religion as a “Sunday experience” that has no bearing on the rest of life. When tragedy strikes, to run to God – even if it is with questions – is a good thing.

As Trish and I were talking, we reflected on God’s own heart breaking. As Christians, we often talk of God the Father sending his son, Jesus, to die on the cross. I have often even talked about how difficult that must have been to know what Jesus was going to experience but to cause it to happen anyway. But today I caught a deeper glimpse into God’s broken heart.

God the Father saw his son being mocked, spit on, stripped, beaten, humiliated, and painfully hung on a tree. Can you even imagine? When one of my children comes home and tells of how another child said something mean or picked on her/him, my heart breaks for my child who has to endure the stinging lash of cruel words. And this wasn’t just cruel words. God watched as lesser, ignorant fools killed his son. Was God upset?

I think so. Think of those verses above. The sky was darkened. The earth shook; the rocks split. In his extreme rage and sorrow, God could have destroyed the earth. Mercifully, he controlled himself, but he expressed his grief and anger through images we humans can understand.

Does God understand when we live through a loss that shatters our world and our spirits? I think he does. God lived through it too.

Now, don’t get me wrong, we do a lot as a family. For instance, together we attend each performance, game, concert…that one of the kids is in. We also eat most suppers together, play games together, bike together…. However, most of these times happen because, at some point in the day, Tim and I will realize that all 5 of us will be around that night, and so we should do something together. We were excited to try a planned Family Night.

To begin with, Tim and I sat down and made a list of possible Family Night ideas. We realized that some weeks our planned family night would be attending one of the kids’ concerts or athletic events, but there would be many other weeks that would need some additional planning. Then we asked the kids if they had any to add. Their ideas consisted of going on a cruise, going to South America to see a sloth…not too helpful! Tim and I were then armed and ready to plan our first Family Night.

At the beginning of the week, when Tim and I tried to figure out a time for family night, we realized that because of his meetings and Awana, there was not a single night that we would be home together. So, we decided our family night would be Friday after school and before a 6:00 appointment. What could we do? Hmmm.

Make an international meal together! We chose what we thought was a Puerto Rican meal (but later found out that it was actually from a few different Hispanic areas). I looked up recipes and went grocery shopping. After school we all came in the kitchen and attacked, not each other, but the recipes! The chicken was rubbed, the peppers sautéed, the plantains soaked, flattened and fried. A mango, papaya, and red bananas were sliced and placed on a platter. The table was set, and two hours after beginning this endeavor, we all eagerly sat down to a meal of Asopao Chicken & Rice, Platanos, Pastillos, non-alcoholic pina colada, and a fruit platter.

It was amazing to see each child (well, Caleb was sick, so he mainly laid on a beanbag chair in the kitchen) enjoy working, creating, and eating the fruit of our labor together.

Not every week will be that elaborate, but it was great to see all of the kids excited about this new venture – a planned Family Night. Tonight will be this week’s Family Night (again, this was the ONLY night we were all together this week!). It will be simple – I will make Tacos (for Cinco de Mayo), and then we will play pool. However, even though it will not be elaborate, it will be a time to connect with our children in a fun, non-threatening way.

Why did I bother to write this? First, I would love your ideas of what you do for Family Nights. After all, there are 52 weeks in a year, so we will need ideas! Second, I hope that it will give you ideas for your own planned Family Night. I think I will post on Twitter (that appears in the side bar) what our Family Night ideas are for that week just in case you are looking for more ideas. Feel free to leave a comment or contact me with more ideas! Let’s build relationship with our children through fun togetherness!

1. If you have gotten the book and like it, would you PLEASE consider writing a review on Amazon? The link is here: http://www.amazon.com/Handing-It-Down-Tim-Thurber/dp/0982577370/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1335537574&sr=8-1 (that is a long link!).  Under “customer review” please rate the book and write something. I obviously believe God can use this book in people’s lives, but it needs to get into their hands first (which obviously God can do – perhaps he would like to use your review to accomplish that)! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, for writing a review.

2. We now have another website – you can purchase the book there (or on Amazon.com_) or if you know us personally you can contact us – we have copies here at home to sell. Our website is www.tthurber.com There is a guestbook there, and we would LOVE for you to say hi and write anything about the book there as well!

Thank you so much for being a part of this journey we have been on as we wrote, talked with the publisher, got a contract, met deadlines, proofed, and now are selling. I so appreciate all of your prayers as we have walked together!

My stomach was doing some weird knots before the Good Friday Service, but I didn’t think much of it. The itching that began during the service did catch my attention a bit, but it wasn’t until I got home and discovered I was covered with huge red welt-splotches that I realized there was something more going on than just a casual stomach-upset.

Thus last week was filled with not only our family vacation to Washington, D.C., but also my system’s flooding of Benadryl and Zyrtec. Three anaphylactic reactions later, I was put on prednisone, and I now carry an EpiPen with me wherever I go. What is going on??

Today is my last day of prednisone, and I’ll admit that I am nervous about going off of it. We’ll see what my body does. For most of the week I handled these stresses very calmly. However, it was during one of my rare “What is happening to my body? What will happen to my family if something actually happens to me?” moments when I sat down for my devotions and read the above passage in Deuteronomy.

Here Moses is reminding the Israelites, just before they enter the Promised Land, of how God has been with them every since they left Egypt. He reminds them of how God is powerful, mighty, and can conquer not only other armies, but even the desolation of the wilderness. Great reminder that, no matter what our situation is, God can conquer it. But it was the next phrase that really caught my attention.

“There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went…” (v. 31). God carries us – and not just because he is the all-powerful, Uncreated Creator. God carries us as a loving father carries his son.

Why does a father typically carry his son? His son may be too small to walk yet – the father carries him so the son gets where he needs to go and learns what he needs to learn. His son may just be too tired and sore to take another step – the strong father picks up the weary son to help him on his journey. His son my just be begging for some “playing rough” (as we call it in our family), and the father will laughingly carry his son into the airplane position or even down onto the floor to wrestle.

Our loving Father carries us too. When we are too weary to go on, when there may be lessons we must learn but we are too weak to persist, even when we are having a good time.

And so, today I take the last of the medication. I will seek strength from the creator of my body while gaining comfort from knowing that he is my loving Father. I would covet your prayers as well as we try to figure out what it is that I am so severely allergic to so suddenly. I would also love to have you pray for my family. They are all handling it very well (and I have tried not to stress them out about it), but they know that I had these reactions.

As always, please let me know of your own situations where you need prayer. We are under the care of a loving father who will carry us in his all-powerful arms.

Plus, the publishers are in the final stages of preparing our book for publication, and so there have been the responsibilities of reading it over again, proofing….. The good news is – Handing it Down: Teaching your Children the Basic Truths of Faith  by Tim and Tami Thurber should be out VERY soon! Very exciting.

I want to let you know that for these and other reasons I will be taking a brief hiatus from writing here. I am not sure how long it will be – perhaps a week, perhaps a month. I cannot really say. However, if you would like to know when the book comes out, or if you would like to know when I start writing again, you can put your email address in the “subscribe” box on this page. That way, when I do post something here, a notice will come to your email.

As always, if there is something I can pray about for you, please let me know. If you would like to contact me with a prayer request (or for ANY reason), you can still use the “contact” page.

Last Saturday was our winter Seasons of the Heart – a morning of a craft, food, and friendship for women of our area. This particular Saturday we were taught how to make candles (and told some very interesting facts about candles) from a local candle-maker, and I had been asked to speak. After lots of prayer, I decided to speak about the scent of bitterness that often infiltrates our lives, penetrating every corner. Because of people’s responses, I decided to give a brief overview of the talk on my blog. I began with a story I wrote for the occasion…

Once upon a time in a town not so far away, there was a girl. This girl was just like all other little girls. She laughed at knock-knock jokes, twirled like a ballerina and sang along with her Disney Princess DVDs as heartily as if she herself were a Disney princess. She threw a football with her Daddy, baked cookies with her mom, and got into a just a bit of mischief with her little brother. Although she was far from perfect, her little life was a sweet perfume day after day.

Rarely does life stay that sweet. In elementary school she quickly discovered she was not a princess. Daily she was reminded that she was not very smart or pretty at all. Small drops of self-pity and bitterness seeped into the sweet perfume of her life.

On the first day of Middle School she earned the nickname “Thumbs” when she dropped her binder on the way to class – all of her newly-sharpened pencils, crisp lined paper, and bright pink erasers littered the freshly polished tile. Instead of helping, her peers just stood watching as she clumsily tried to gather her scattered supplies and shattered pride. Drip. Drip. Drip. Anger, deeply hidden, added drops of its stench to her life. 

Hoping for a fresh start in High school, she tried out for the school play but was told that her abilities did not fit into this dramatic production. Then, her dad lost his job and the financial strain ripped her parents apart. Her younger brother committed suicide. Anger swelled, bitterness intensified, self-pity surged. 

Of course, no one else smelled the reeking odor she carried inside. On the outside she looked and smelled good. But beneath her washed and perfumed surface she knew there churned a stinking mass.

She kept her despair and bitterness well hidden until, in her fifth year of marriage, she miscarried for the second time. Why God? Why? I don’t deserve this. The anger exploded at herself, her family, and God. Suddenly this odor, this awful stench filled her nostrils and she sobbed. She didn’t want her life to be this way, she didn’t want this reeking mass of bitterness to cling to her. She wanted to be free – to weather the storms of life as a sweet perfume, but by this time the awful odor of anger and self-pity had infiltrated every part of her being. And she sobbed.

Each of us has had plenty of experiences that hurt us. Some are as seemingly small as not making a school play or not receiving a promotion at work. Others are hugely traumatic such as sexual, physical, or emotional abuse. We all have had these experiences that push us down, causing bitterness, anger, and self-pity.

Is there hope? Most of us have had disappointment. Most of us have cause to be angry and bitter. But is that the way you want to live? Wouldn’t life be more enjoyable if we let go of our bitterness, if we acknowledge our anger and hand it to God? God gives hope. God gives peace. God gives love. I am not a trained counselor, and I am not saying that getting rid of the hidden bitterness and anger is easy. But too many of us walk around beautiful on the outside but a stinking mass on the inside.

Ephesians 2:10 says that we are God’s handiwork. You are a masterpiece created by God. You are loved. God can take away the stinking mass and replace it with beauty, with sweet-smelling fragrance. There is hope.

If there is one thing I would like you to truly ponder today, it is the thought that God loves you, and he can take the bitterness and anger that you have stored up and replace it with peace, love, and joy. Life is tough, but God can give us the strength to make it through each circumstance without becoming a bitter stench.

I have just finished reading Forgotten God: Reversing our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit by Francis Chan, and I have been challenged. Challenged to pray. You might respond, “Well, I do pray.” It’s true. We all do pray – we do ask for help, guidance, and we pray for each other (the women of this church are WONDERFUL at praying for each other). But do we truly believe that God will actually work in our lives? How much time do we spend praying?

Last week I had the opportunity to go on a silent retreat. It was only for one full day, but it was wonderful to be away from all the noise of life – the phone, the laundry, the meals, email, planning…I was away and praying for a full day. During that day I read parts of Life of the Beloved by Henri M. Nouwen and The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. This sounds like I am just spouting off a recommended reading list. That’s not my point (although these are great books to read). I tell you these things because all of them challenged me that my life should be infused with blocks of concentrated prayer.

I am also asking you to pray. Actually, I am begging for you to pray – not just a quick on-the-go prayer or an easy-chair prayer, but a fervent, concentrated time of prayer every day. What should you pray for? I am glad you asked! 

Of course, we should pray for those in need and we should use our prayer time to examine our own lives to make sure that we are living, acting, and speaking as God would want (and spend quiet time just listening to what God has to teach us). I am also asking for you to pray for our church.

At Thanksgiving my sister-in-law asked how the church was going, and my response was, “Wonderful! There is an amazing men’s initiative starting. Over ½ of the men of the church are in power cells where they are reading the Bible and having accountability with other men. There is also a Missions Conference coming up that people from the church are motivated to plan and implement.” Praise God for his working in the lives of all of these people!! However, this past week I have realized again that when Satan feels threatened, he will act. And so I am asking you to pray that our church would not succumb to petty arguments because it is in the small areas that discontent begins to breed, and God’s work is hindered as we all stop praying and start complaining.

I am asking that we all continue to pray that God would lead and guide the leadership of our church. I pray that our own actions would glorify God, and I will continue praying that God would work mightily in each of our lives and in the lives of those in our communities. I beg you to join me in prayer.

Your sister and fellow-prayer in Christ,

Tami