Last Saturday was our winter Seasons of the Heart – a morning of a craft, food, and friendship for women of our area. This particular Saturday we were taught how to make candles (and told some very interesting facts about candles) from a local candle-maker, and I had been asked to speak. After lots of prayer, I decided to speak about the scent of bitterness that often infiltrates our lives, penetrating every corner. Because of people’s responses, I decided to give a brief overview of the talk on my blog. I began with a story I wrote for the occasion…

Once upon a time in a town not so far away, there was a girl. This girl was just like all other little girls. She laughed at knock-knock jokes, twirled like a ballerina and sang along with her Disney Princess DVDs as heartily as if she herself were a Disney princess. She threw a football with her Daddy, baked cookies with her mom, and got into a just a bit of mischief with her little brother. Although she was far from perfect, her little life was a sweet perfume day after day.

Rarely does life stay that sweet. In elementary school she quickly discovered she was not a princess. Daily she was reminded that she was not very smart or pretty at all. Small drops of self-pity and bitterness seeped into the sweet perfume of her life.

On the first day of Middle School she earned the nickname “Thumbs” when she dropped her binder on the way to class – all of her newly-sharpened pencils, crisp lined paper, and bright pink erasers littered the freshly polished tile. Instead of helping, her peers just stood watching as she clumsily tried to gather her scattered supplies and shattered pride. Drip. Drip. Drip. Anger, deeply hidden, added drops of its stench to her life. 

Hoping for a fresh start in High school, she tried out for the school play but was told that her abilities did not fit into this dramatic production. Then, her dad lost his job and the financial strain ripped her parents apart. Her younger brother committed suicide. Anger swelled, bitterness intensified, self-pity surged. 

Of course, no one else smelled the reeking odor she carried inside. On the outside she looked and smelled good. But beneath her washed and perfumed surface she knew there churned a stinking mass.

She kept her despair and bitterness well hidden until, in her fifth year of marriage, she miscarried for the second time. Why God? Why? I don’t deserve this. The anger exploded at herself, her family, and God. Suddenly this odor, this awful stench filled her nostrils and she sobbed. She didn’t want her life to be this way, she didn’t want this reeking mass of bitterness to cling to her. She wanted to be free – to weather the storms of life as a sweet perfume, but by this time the awful odor of anger and self-pity had infiltrated every part of her being. And she sobbed.

Each of us has had plenty of experiences that hurt us. Some are as seemingly small as not making a school play or not receiving a promotion at work. Others are hugely traumatic such as sexual, physical, or emotional abuse. We all have had these experiences that push us down, causing bitterness, anger, and self-pity.

Is there hope? Most of us have had disappointment. Most of us have cause to be angry and bitter. But is that the way you want to live? Wouldn’t life be more enjoyable if we let go of our bitterness, if we acknowledge our anger and hand it to God? God gives hope. God gives peace. God gives love. I am not a trained counselor, and I am not saying that getting rid of the hidden bitterness and anger is easy. But too many of us walk around beautiful on the outside but a stinking mass on the inside.

Ephesians 2:10 says that we are God’s handiwork. You are a masterpiece created by God. You are loved. God can take away the stinking mass and replace it with beauty, with sweet-smelling fragrance. There is hope.

If there is one thing I would like you to truly ponder today, it is the thought that God loves you, and he can take the bitterness and anger that you have stored up and replace it with peace, love, and joy. Life is tough, but God can give us the strength to make it through each circumstance without becoming a bitter stench.

I have just finished reading Forgotten God: Reversing our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit by Francis Chan, and I have been challenged. Challenged to pray. You might respond, “Well, I do pray.” It’s true. We all do pray – we do ask for help, guidance, and we pray for each other (the women of this church are WONDERFUL at praying for each other). But do we truly believe that God will actually work in our lives? How much time do we spend praying?

Last week I had the opportunity to go on a silent retreat. It was only for one full day, but it was wonderful to be away from all the noise of life – the phone, the laundry, the meals, email, planning…I was away and praying for a full day. During that day I read parts of Life of the Beloved by Henri M. Nouwen and The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. This sounds like I am just spouting off a recommended reading list. That’s not my point (although these are great books to read). I tell you these things because all of them challenged me that my life should be infused with blocks of concentrated prayer.

I am also asking you to pray. Actually, I am begging for you to pray – not just a quick on-the-go prayer or an easy-chair prayer, but a fervent, concentrated time of prayer every day. What should you pray for? I am glad you asked! 

Of course, we should pray for those in need and we should use our prayer time to examine our own lives to make sure that we are living, acting, and speaking as God would want (and spend quiet time just listening to what God has to teach us). I am also asking for you to pray for our church.

At Thanksgiving my sister-in-law asked how the church was going, and my response was, “Wonderful! There is an amazing men’s initiative starting. Over ½ of the men of the church are in power cells where they are reading the Bible and having accountability with other men. There is also a Missions Conference coming up that people from the church are motivated to plan and implement.” Praise God for his working in the lives of all of these people!! However, this past week I have realized again that when Satan feels threatened, he will act. And so I am asking you to pray that our church would not succumb to petty arguments because it is in the small areas that discontent begins to breed, and God’s work is hindered as we all stop praying and start complaining.

I am asking that we all continue to pray that God would lead and guide the leadership of our church. I pray that our own actions would glorify God, and I will continue praying that God would work mightily in each of our lives and in the lives of those in our communities. I beg you to join me in prayer.

Your sister and fellow-prayer in Christ,

Tami

Many years ago I cross-stitched an advent calendar. For the past few weeks we have been adding little cross-stitched figures to the stable scene, and now we have only three figures left to add! Whoohoo! Christmas is almost here! Wait…is it Christmas?

Perhaps it is just a holiday where an overweight man in a bull-attracting suit breaks into our homes to tempt us with materialism. Is that what this season is all about?

Or perhaps it is just a time when we should be nice to our cranky neighbor, throw a few coins into a kettle at the entrance of the store, and spread the joy and hope of….what?

Happy Holidays, we hear. And it is a Happy Holiday. But not because of the presents, not because of the empty peace and goodwill we are encouraged to show everyone around us, but because this holiday reminds us that we are part of a much larger story than 2011. Our story goes back to the beginning of people – when God created a being that he wanted to communicate with, that he wanted to spend eternity with, that he loved.

The story continued as the eternal Jesus took on a human body as a helpless baby, grew into a culture-changing man, and loved us so much that he died so that we could live.

But the story did not stop with Jesus’ birth, death, resurrection or even ascension. The story has continued for thousands of years. Even as governments fell, economies collapsed, and evil seemed prevalent, there has always been a remnant that live the story of God’s love.

It is our turn now. We are part of the remnant called to live the story of God’s love. We are the only ones who can truly spread joy and hope this season because we know where joy and hope come from.

May you have a wonderful Christmas as you celebrate the birth of our Savior. May you spread the joy and hope of this season into your family, community, nation, and world as you live your part of the story of God’s love.

I’ll admit that rarely do I study or even read the book of Revelation. However, in October I started a program of trying to read the New Testament by Christmas, and today I finished. Thus I read Revelation.

When you read this book in large chunks, it has a whole different affect than when you read it chapter by chapter or verse by verse. I was struck with the majesty and vastness of time and space. All of these beings and events, including the many-eyed beings, the huge, bright angels, the beast and dragon, all truly exist even though they are beyond our time and space. What an amazing, thought-provoking concept. While on this earth I doubt I will ever understand all that Revelation holds, but there are a few thoughts that I can understand.

First, God is powerful. Jesus is the glorious Lamb. God will win. Second, my life on earth matters. What I do and believe counts. My actions and attitudes have eternal consequences. I want to be part of those surrounding God’s throne, praising him. I want my name to be written in the Book of Life. The consequences if my name is not there terrifies me.

If you know me, you know that I tend to be an optimistic person who shies away from doom and gloom, preferring to focus on opportunity and good. I almost always see the glass as ½ full. However, there are times when we must focus on the reality of the future, and that reality may not be roses and opportunity. Are we ready for that? Do we take that future reality seriously?

This is the season of Christmas, a time when we celebrate the human birth of our Savior, Jesus. This morning as I read of Jesus’ power and authority in heaven, I stopped and thought. Do I truly believe that Jesus was born on earth, that he lived a sinless life, and that he paid for my sins by dying on the cross and rising again? If persecution comes, if I am faced with the possibility of death or being outcast because of my belief, would I stand? And, what am I doing now to prepare myself for that possibility? Am I taking advantage of all opportunity to grow stronger in my faith? If I take my faith lightly now when I have so much freedom and opportunity to grow, then how can I stay strong when it gets tough?

And so, as I pass the crèche in my home, as I sing the Christmas songs, I will be pondering whether I truly believe this is true, and if so, am I living as if it is true. Whew. I think I’ll go make myself a cup of tea – ½ full.

1 Chronicles 16:34

“Why do we get a whole week off at Christmas, but only a few days off for Thanksgiving?” questioned one of my sons. Without missing a beat, my other son answered, “Because Christmas is Jesus’ birth, and Thanksgiving is when the Pilgrims just had dinner.” I love my kids!

The actual celebration of Thanksgiving in our nation is because the Pilgrims had dinner, but as Christians we have a much deeper understanding than celebrating the peace between pilgrims and Native Americans and the abundance of food because of their peace. We broaden it into a time of reflecting on what God has done for us. This year has been tough for many people, though. Do we have to thank God for losing our jobs, burying a loved one, or being diagnosed with a long-term illness? Does God require us to thank him for those things?

There is a little word in the above verses that, to me, allows us to grieve and acknowledge our sorrow over something in our lives. “Give thanks in all circumstances.” It does not say, “Give thanks for all circumstances.” If it did, then people would be required to thank God for starving when famine hits their land, or they should thank God that they are walking around one-handed because their other hand was chopped off by a conflicting religious group. If it said “for” then we would have to thank God that our child was kidnapped or raped. But it doesn’t. It says “in.” That one word changes a mask of thankfulness into a thankfulness rooted in deep-faith.

We may not always feel like giving thanks for a particular circumstance that we are going through. But, by acknowledging that God is the all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving creator, savior, and friend, we can still thank him for who he is, for the love he has, for how he holds us tight and steadfast even in a rocking world. We can thank him that we can be a witness in the difficult situation, and we can thank him for bringing us closer to him. We can be thankful throughout any circumstance even if we are not thankful for that circumstance.

This Thanksgiving take time to thank God for all the wonderful blessings he has given you. We SHOULD acknowledge those gifts from God. Then think through the difficult circumstances you have faced or are facing. Are you thankful in those circumstances, or are you angry at God for them? If you realize that you are not thankful in the circumstance, pray and ask God to help you base your thankfulness on deeper issues than the circumstance themselves. Then you will be thankful in all circumstances.

This morning I chose to wake my children up for school with a pat and a “Happy Halloween!” I chose to feed them breakfast, chose to make Caleb his lunch, chose to take Miriam and Ryan to school because Ryan had to cart his heavy trombone. I then chose to make lemon tea and chose to sit down with my Bible. After that I chose to start a load of laundry and fold a load already done. These are only a few of the choices I have already made today, and it is only 9:30 in the morning!

We all make constant daily choices about our actions and attitudes, and generally speaking, we don’t think these small choices really matter. However, through spending some time with some older people, I have become very aware of how the choices we make throughout the mundane parts of life slowly form us. Each choice is a decision of whether to love others, honor our spouses, train our children, and follow God. After contemplating these things, I was so excited when I read in C.S. Lewis’ Mere Christianity, the following quote.

“Every time you make a choice you are turning the central part of you, the part of you that chooses, into something a little different from what it was before. And taking your life as a whole, with all your innumerable choices, all your life long you are slowly turning this central thing either into a heavenly creature or into a hellish creature: either into a creature that is in harmony with God, and with other creatures, and with itself, or else into one that is in a state of war and hatred with God, and with its fellow-creatures, and with itself.” (Lewis, C.S., Mere Christianity. New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 1980. p. 92).

We may think that our little burst of anger or sly undercut to our spouse means nothing. But each time we demean someone, we are actually shaping our character to be something unholy. There are so many ways that we all make little excuses for ourselves day after day after day. But each choice we make shapes us. That’s a little scary.

We all know people who are bitter, full of rage, deceitful, or condescending. They did not just wake up one morning and decide to be that way. No, it was the daily little choices along the way that shaped their character.

Think about the choices you have already made today. Do they show love, respect, and honor to those around you? Are they based in selfishness and greed or service and sacrifice? Are you choosing to be holy in both your actions AND attitudes? It’s sobering to think that every single choice we make shifts our character, ever so slightly, either towards godliness or away from it.

Oh, I hear the washer is done. I suppose I should choose to go put it in the dryer so my family has clean clothes…

“This is a WOW moment!” I exclaimed last weekend. I was not talking about the beautiful colors on the trees or when my 11 year old son commented, “Mom, I want your advice about whether to wear a coat because you are smarter than I am.”(although both of those are amazing occurrences). I was standing in front of a group of children in Cambridgeport, Massachusetts, and I had just gone through the verses stating that we are sinners, separated from God. But, because God loves us so much he paid for our sins, forgives us, and invites us to be part of his family. That moment, when we become part of God’s family, is a WOW moment. We should be amazed at the love, grace, and mercy God gives to us.

Too often, though, once we “are saved” our focus changes from reliance on God to a “works” mentality. We work hard to serve him, and we feel guilty if we do not do enough, are not kind enough, not joyful enough, or not sacrificial enough. It is as if we left the WOW at the beginning of our spiritual journey and are now trying to prove that God is lucky to have us on his team. Then, when our works do not prove our worth, guilt takes over.

There are times when we should feel guilty. But when we feel guilty because we are not serving God enough, I wonder if we are often falling into a me-centered spiritual journey.

I want to serve God more.

I want to make a difference in this world for God.

I want to shine God’s light.

Notice that the Subject in each of those sentences is “I”. We lose the WOW of God’s love, mercy, and grace, and instead get caught up in whether we are doing our part. Instead of focusing on our own works, we need to relax, love and enjoy God, be willing to be a part of opportunities he brings, and have God as the subject-center of our lives. With God as the subject, the sentences would read…

God allows us to serve him.

God has already made the difference in the world, and God wants my life to reflect that difference.

God’s light should shine brightly through me.

It’s a subtle shift, but it rids us of a works spiritual journey. God is the one who does the working in the world. God is the one who reaches down, giving us remarkable, plenteous love, grace, and mercy each day. God is the one who will bring opportunities and who will shine his light through us. We don’t need to feel the weight of the world on our shoulders – God should carry that weight. Our goal should be to bask in the daily WOW moments as we remember his grace, mercy and amazing love. Slow Down. Be Wowed. Give the guilt to God and he will bring plenty of opportunity to show his light.

I am sick because I am dumb. Last week my husband went with me to the grocery store. Now understand, normally I glide by the dessert aisle with a grace and speed that would make Little Debbie shiver. However, Tim, feeling a lack of sweets, brought our cart to a halt right in front of the sandwich cookie with the wonderful filling. My guard was down, and I gave in. Unfortunately I ate way more than double the stuff! Then yesterday I ate a large fry from a fast food restaurant (for lunch) and a bag of microwave popcorn (for supper). I still have not gotten rid of that giant-greaseball-sitting-in-your-stomach feeling. I tell you, I am sick because I am dumb. We all know that what we eat affects our physical, mental, and emotional well-being, and yet I would guess that I am not the only one who has ignored that axiom. I should have exerted more self-control, reigned in my passions, and thought of the consequences. But I didn’t, and now I am paying.

It is easy to splurge, to let our self-control lag for a moment. Unhealthy food is not the only contaminate we allow into our systems. We also allow unhealthy thoughts, attitudes and actions to infiltrate. Our spirits become contaminated when gossip slips from our lips, when we watch that show or look online at images that pull on our passions, when we burst out in anger. Letting down our guard of self-control is so easy, and yet we all slip.

There are many practical steps that we can take to get rid of contaminates in our body, but before we take the practical steps, we must understand WHY we should rid ourselves of impurity.

First, our spirits get sick from impure actions just as my body got sick from junk food. When we willingly contaminate our bodies with impure thoughts and actions we are spiritually functioning at second-rate levels.

The second reason why we should desire purity is because of our reverence for God. God desires for us to give our lives to him as a sacrifice, holy and pleasing to him (Rom. 12:1). When we willingly contaminate our spirits, we give a mediocre offering to God.

Examine your life. Ask God to show you any attitudes, actions, or thoughts that are contaminating your spirit and tainting your offering to God. Letting down your guard, even just for a moment, will make you sick.